Part 1 in a series of writings that explore the art of listening, the basis of my work.

I’d like to share with you my experience of listening… it’s usefulness and my curiosity about it. Listening helps me to solve problems more quickly, to feel connected with others, and it’s deeply satisfying. It’s the basis of my work as a coach and practitioner. My work is easiest when I actively listen. Responding to my clients with curiosity builds better understanding to meet their needs. Listening is basically a portal. It leads to service-based thinking. I find joy in this.

It’s strange to me, then, why I don’t choose to listen all of the time? For instance, when I’m at home with my partner, or talking on the phone with my mom. Maybe it’s because listening can open up unexpected experiences, which I don’t feel ready to talk about. Or because I think I already know what they’re saying. Or because I believe I can multi-task and get other important things done, too. Despite the justifications, half-listening doesn’t meet my needs well.

When I’m half-listening, I miss the opportunity for connection. Our shared experience suffers. Our frustrations build as we experience unmet needs and unresolved conflict. When I ignore my needs for too long, my body gets tense. My anxiety builds to let me know something needs attention. And when I’m tired, self-doubt and draining thoughts can take over. At these times, I’ve learned it’s important to ask for grace. I ask the Loving Universe for guidance, what do I need to see to better relate to myself? So that I can relate well with others too. I’m often in awe with the guidance I get. I practice Positive Intelligence to clear my thoughts. I move in a way that feels good for my body. I center into my values. This allows me to show up with the energy and commitment it takes to really listen.

Listening is the key that unlocks connection. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being amazed at the power of listening to transform our experience.

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for the next post in the series, “Listening Wasn’t My Strength.”

Embodied Blessings, Tina